When you are working to develop a truly successful Business Mindset, one of the first things you need to assess is your comfort with MONEY. Why? Because in business, money changes hands regularly and your relationship with money is a key player in the decisions you make every day. You can literally win or lose as the direct result of how you think and feel about money.
Everyone initially thinks…. oh, I don’t have a problem with money. I love money (or the things that money can buy). But is that really true?? When you scratch below the surface you’ll see it is a rather complicated subject.
Most people have underlying ‘money issues’ that they have unsuspectingly brought with them from childhood and early development. In fact, I believe EVERYONE brings a certain bias to the subject of money and accumulating wealth and they are not even aware of it.
When I was a child, we did not have much but I never felt “poor”. I know now, that we were and that my parents struggled to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads for much of my young life. My mother worked very hard to gain degrees in higher education all the years I was growing up while simultaneously working two jobs. Needless to say… I didn’t see a lot of her. I respect her totally though for the hard work she gave and the example she set for me.
The thing I remember most about money, or money issues, was actually from when I was a teenager and my family had risen out of poverty and were what you might consider ‘middle class’. Not well off, not poor. Stuck in the middle where most people find themselves.
There was a strange feast or famine type of relationship with money in the household. Often times I would hear it said “we can’t afford that” but then my mother would go to the wholesale club store and come home with massive quantities of supplies and food. She would spend hundreds of dollars stocking our home with things we didn’t need 20 of…. but not allow herself to buy a new outfit… and certainly not a new car or piece of furniture EVER. It was an odd paradox and it did not go unnoticed by me.
This began my interest in understanding money and why you make the choices you do with it… where the motivation comes from to make those choices… and how those choices ultimately affect your success or failure in acquiring financial freedom or wealth.
If you want to explore your own relationship with money… I’ve included 4 simple prompts to contemplate. Consider the way you feel in your body as you respond to the prompts and ask yourself if you are being totally honest with yourself as you answer them. Dig deep for a few minutes and consider each one. You may be surprised to find you have some underlying tension in your body or outright discomfort that comes up surrounding the subject of money. It’s a very interesting thing that happens.
Try these prompts on for size at a time when you have about 10 minutes, things are quiet, and you are relatively relaxed. Write down your responses and the feelings associated with them so you can look at them later. For now - just do the exercise and be careful not to judge yourself for what comes out.
1) I want to be rich!
(Say this one out loud with some gusto! I think you’ll find this one is tricky because everyone says ‘yes’ but pay close attention to how you FEEL when you say it. Are you too embarrassed to even say it out loud? What else comes up for you?)
2) The first significant memory I have of money, or lack of, when I was growing up is _____ and how that affects me now as an adult is _____.
(Initially you might think your exposure to money, or lack thereof, has no effect on you now as an adult… but if you think and feel on it for a while… your eyes may be opened to the fact that there is absolutely a direct correlation between your childhood experiences and your relationship with money now. I call this ‘programming’ and it is a very powerful motivator and/or block to accumulating wealth.)
3) I want to be more financially successful than my parents are/were.
(There is a very interesting thing that happens when you think directly about surpassing your parents, or other important family role models, and becoming significantly more financially successful than them. There is often an underlying shame associated with it. Notice this as you consider this and see what your level of confort is with it.)
4) If I were rich, I would (a) want everyone to know, or (b) not live in a way that made it obvious to others.
(This offers an interesting view into your comfort level with wealth. Do you want people to know you’re very wealthy? Would you feel conspicuous or even embarrassed if people knew? There’s no right or wrong here… but it can be enlightening to consider because it tells you about the ‘story’ you have in your head about whether it’s ‘ok’ to be wealthy or if there is shame attached to it.)
These are just a few quick things you can play with some time when you are alone. Knowing where you stand in your relationship with money is important to developing a Business Mindset that allows you to receive success. Often times we have no idea - but we are actually standing in our own way and even sabotaging ourselves with our ingrained programming and habits simply being unaware.
Unlocking it can be as simple as understanding where certain ideas and ‘stories’ come from… and that they are not our own. They are the product of our programming. And you can choose to change your mind about it if you wish to.